It's My Problem [James~]

[NATHANIEL ALEXANDER DUNNE]

ONE LIFE PRETENDING TO BE THE COW THAT GOT THE CREAM PEOPLE LIKE TO TELL YOU WHAT
YOU'RE GUNNA BE IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM IF YOU DON'T SEE

Nate didn't really know what he was getting himself into. There were a lot of things that were "wrong" with what he was doing, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He was a CIA agent - what could be more wrong than being that at nineteen? It was an argument he'd had with himself more than quite a few times, staring at the number in his contact list, and having it memorized despite never calling it, and he felt that if he didn't call it at some point then he was making a really big mistake. He couldn't get that feeling out of his head, out of his chest even, and he knew that he and Ari, his girlfriend, were fighting over it, but really, that was her own fault. She was the one that had judged him too quickly and hadn't let him finish what he was saying, hadn't let him finish explaining that it wasn't attraction but familiarity, for some odd reason, that forced him to put the number in his phone. He felt like he knew this man, James, from somewhere. He knew he'd never worked with him before, but it was more of a distant feeling than anything. Maybe he'd had a magically prophetic dream about them meeting once, and together they'd become superheroes together and fight the world.

Or maybe he'd been watching too much day time television. Either way, he'd called James. The man had sounded almost relieved to hear that he was just calling to talk, invite him out to coffee. After giving him the address of the Starbucks closest to him - the one with one of his favorite baristas that just put a bit more chocolate and a tad more whipped cream in his peppermint mocha than was called for - and they'd agreed on a time and date. Which was today. Which was why Nate was sitting at a table with his blueberry scone and hot drink cooling down, while tapping his finger against the table as if creating a beat. He was nervous. He couldn't explain why, but he was nervous. It wasn't because of James. Actually, he was kind-of relaxed while talking to James, or being around him even, the one time he had been around him being the time they'd met. But it wasn't ... instant connections were crap. He didn't think that was what it was. But his brain was clinging to this man for some reason and he'd figure it out. Maybe he was that desperate for a confidant, someone that would judge him like Ari would or think him stupid like any of his other acquaintances if he even tried to get remotely into his personal life. Spies weren't known for their sensitivity, after all.

He took a sip of his drink, letting the hot liquid go down his throat slowly. Most people didn't understand how he could order a hot drink in New York heat - it was supposed to be in the nineties today. He didn't mind in the slightest. He loved the summer weather, and thought of winter as the worst season out of the four. His favorite drink was a peppermint mocha, and since they tasted disgusting cold, he drank it warm. Even in the middle of summer. Plus, it wasn't as if he was outside. He was in an establishment, a well air conditioned one at that. He was allowed. He pulled off a piece of his scone and started chewing slowly. They'd agreed on being here at three, but it was two thirty. Nate was early. He had a good - as viewed by some - that doubled as bad - as viewed by others - habit of showing up early, never on time or never late. He was just that kind of person really, the kind of person that worked ahead and made sure everything was in place beforehand. The CIA was all about procedure, and he guessed some of that - all of that - had slipped into his everyday life. He shrugged it off and took another sip of his coffee. He shouldn't be getting himself worked up before James got here, or he'd be a nervous wreck when he did, which would be not only embarrassing but unnecessary. Maybe coffee that was full of caffeine and sugar hadn't been the best of ideas.

T A G G E D ? ! jamesie~ and he can't even kill me for that because nate
W O R D C O U N T ? ! seven forty eight
M U S E ? ! lol it's like three in the morning i don't even know
N O T E S ? ! i'm uber hype~
C R E D I T ? ! graphic credit goes to v-va-vanessa of caution two point oh. lyric credit goes to the lovely marina and the diamonds with her song are you satisfied?

[JAMES ALISTAIR McKENNA]

it's always have and never hold
you've begun to feel like home

[/i][/font][/blockquote]

It had been weeks, and that was the thing getting to him the most. Whenever Jace asked James what seemed to be bothering him, he just simply said he was waiting on something. If anyone else asked him, he told them to mind their own damn business. Nathaniel had finally been found. Or at least James had seen him, and managed to talk to him. He remembered having to slip into his usual Fordham attitude in order to calm his heart and not blurt everything out the moment he said 'I'm Nathaniel.' Maybe he said Nate, and James's brain automatically filtered it to Nathaniel; that wasn't important. The first time they met had been weeks ago. James had slipped him his cell, telling the younger man that he could call him for whatever. Whenever, it didn't matter, because James would answer if he could. He hadn't heard from him since, and he was starting to think that he wouldn't. Then again, he really wasn't too surprised. When a man randomly approaches you, strikes up a conversation, then gives you his number and says you can call for whatever reason you like, normally people get creeped out. He honestly wouldn't be surprised if Nathaniel had simply thrown the number out; but the fact that he was his little brother kept him hopeful.

Which is why the day his phone chimed off a certain ringtone, James had stopped what he was doing to answer it. When James heard his voice on the other end, he couldn't help but feel highly relieved. Who wouldn't, really, after waiting for so long to see if they would be contacted. They agreed to meet at a Starbucks of Nathaniel's choosing, and they settled on a day and time as well. James had tried his best to keep this day clear, but that morning he had been surprised with extra training. 'For his benefit,' they had said. Apparently he had been so off recently, that they thought he needed to focus more on training. By the time he was finished with Fordham, and heading out into the city, it was already nearing two thirty. James wanted to be early, but the time he was finally walking was the time he wanted to have been at Starbucks waiting. It wasn't that he was nervous, he was anxious. It took all he had to not be at the place when it opened – of course, Fordham's plans helped with that, unfortunately. While he waited on traffic, he had to remind himself of the situation he was walking into. Slowly he calmed his mind, and forced himself to treat this like a mission. He would stay calm, aloof, and friendly, but being himself at the same time. Thought he was about ready to curse public transportation to hell when he finally neared their meeting place.

James strolled into the Starbucks, acting like he really couldn't be bothered to be here. He went up to the barista to place his order, while giving her a weak smile. Glancing around the place, he hardly heard whatever the girl was saying as he was trying to spot – there he was. Of course he would be here already, it was quarter to, already. Either the need to be early ran in their genes, or the tenancy to be anxious did. James thanked the girl when he received his drink, giving her an authentic smile now, and he headed over to the table Nathaniel was sitting at. “Hey,” He spoke softly, giving him a small nod as he sat down in the chair opposite him. “Hope I didn't keep you waiting too long.” Even though it wasn't even three yet. The cup was placed on the table, and in order to stop himself from fidgeting too much, he let his finger trace the edge of the cup's lid. This was it; after twelve years, he would finally get to talk to his brother – hopefully like friends – and find out what he had been up to all these years. There he was again, being optimistic. Even if they were going to be friends, Nathaniel probably would speak of his past to the man just yet. For all he knew, he was there to tell him that he didn't want to be contacted. Suddenly James felt nervous.

TAG ?! Nathaniel
COUNT ?! seven-three-seven [737]
NOTE ?! if it doesn't make any sense,
remember that it's nearly five am, kay? kay.

[NATHANIEL ALEXANDER DUNNE]

ONE LIFE PRETENDING TO BE THE COW THAT GOT THE CREAM PEOPLE LIKE TO TELL YOU WHAT
YOU'RE GUNNA BE IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM IF YOU DON'T SEE

When James walked in and ordered something, Nate settled almost immediately. He came. He didn't know why but he'd started having a slight doubt that the man would even show up at all. After all, this was kind of crazy, wasn't it? Someone that he knew but he didn't know, that seemed to know him sort-of, that gave him his phone number in an almost protective gesture ... Nate didn't know what to make of any of it. So he didn't try. But the feeling he'd gotten when he saw that James had actually come, and that he hadn't blown him off, hadn't offered to be there for whatever the reason and then flaked out, was a sort-of warm feeling. He wouldn't say any of that to Zaria, however. He wouldn't want her to think any worse of him than she already did, that he was cheating on her with a man older than him, than both of them. Even though he'd already confirmed, more than once, that he was straight, and that it honestly wasn't like that. However, his girlfriend was the type to get an idea stuck in her head, and that was it - there was no changing her mind.

"No you didn't, I uh, I have a habit of being early." Nate said, sitting up straight and running a hand through his hear. "Besides, it's not like you're late." He half-smiled and took a sip of his coffee, breaking off another piece of his scone and popping it into his mouth. After he swallowed, he took a sip of his coffee, and shrugged. "To be honest, I didn't know if you were going to come. I mean, this is kind of crazy, isn't it? I was ... this is going to sound bad, but, we sort of just ran into each other and then we're talking and exchanging phone numbers. I thought you were going to think this was a bit insane and not bother. I mean ... I bother because, my daily life is kind of insane, and you don't seem the type to be a serial killer, or ..." He realized he was rambling, and he flushed a bright red. "Sorry, I'll stop before I dig myself a deeper grave." He said, before taking another sip of coffee. He needed to learn when to shut his mouth off. He didn't want to scare James away. The man seemed a bit too normal to deal with Nate's slight insanity.

He hadn't told anyone that he was meeting James today. His father had stopped caring completely about him, and so he didn't bother in that direction. Not that the man had ever cared, really? Not that he could complain. He just knew that his father wasn't the caring type, but even knowing that, he'd been distant lately. It had tripped Nate up quite a bit, but he'd taken it in stride like he did for a lot of other things. Then there was Zaria, which he pushed from his mind. He pushed everything from his mind, or tried to, really. He wasn't going to half-ass this, whatever this was. He felt the need to actually put out effort. Everything with James, really, was based on this feeling he had in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't explain it, any of it. If he tried to be rational about it, he'd scare himself off of whatever he was getting himself into, but then again, what else in his world was rational? Why should he try to apply a mold that didn't fit on anything else in his life, to this? He hadn't done it with Ari, even if she was different. It wasn't fair. He shook his head slightly, and got his head out of the clouds. "So, how are you?" He asked, trying to start some normal conversation. Normal was good, right? Nate really was trying too hard. It wasn't that he was nervous, because he wasn't, really. It was more he was trying a bit too hard. Trying at what, or to do what, he didn't really know. He just knew that he was trying too hard at whatever it was. He just needed to take a deep breath, and try to stop jumping the gun. That, however, was easier said than done.

T A G G E D ? ! james!
W O R D C O U N T ? ! seven fifty five
M U S E ? ! he perks up at even the mention of this thread so iunno i think he has favorites nao
N O T E S ? ! they're the most adorable things ever like what even
C R E D I T ? ! graphic credit goes to v-va-vanessa of caution two point oh. lyric credit goes to the lovely marina and the diamonds with her song are you satisfied?