Some Disenchanted Evening (Nate)

[ajane]

The lush interior of Bottino's did little to soothe Zaria's jangled nerves. Her polite smile was pasted onto her face, though a thousand conflicting thoughts raced through her mind. What do you think you're doing here? was the first question on her mind. She could fool anyone with this smile, from her father and his tedious questions to her mother and her harpy, fluttering attitude. The question was whether or not she could fool Nate.

Her hands were folded in her lap, fingers uneasily twisting the linen napkin dropped into place not a few moments before. Her water glass had already been sampled, bare ice resting against the crystal. Warm smells of garlic bread and homemade marinara brought back fond memories of home, back when her mother was actually able to cook something without burning it. Or was that her nana? She couldn't remember right now. She couldn't really care to.

She cleared her throat and looked over towards the window, spotting the reflection from the interior. Cozy lights and candles illuminated the comfortable restaurant, but Zaria felt anything but comfortable. Her face was the perfect mask to hide her nerves which threatened to shatter her calm. Zaria was anything but calm. Part of her worried that this would be yet another disaster on top of another string of disasters. Part of her knew she was pulling away. What she couldn't figure out was why.

For starters, she was early. She was never early. She was always running late, preferring to work on her confidence with a little added mascara or blush or lipstick, anything, really. Or else she had trouble coordinating her shoes. Or she had misplaced one set of earrings and couldn't find the other. It felt odd to be the one waiting when she was the one that made him wait. Maybe that was why her nerves were so... raw.

But she was determined. She was determined not to spoil their evening before it even began. She owed him that much, at least. To give him the benefit of the doubt. She was going to listen to him talk, even if she had to choke on her tongue to not say anything ridiculous. She wasn't going to swallow her leg or her foot tonight. She was going to be on her best behavior, be the daughter her mother had raised her to be.

Yeah, right. Like he's the perfect saint.

Zaria closed her eyes and reached for her water glass and choked down a cube. She rolled the ice along her tongue, feeling her teeth chill and her lips turn numb at the effort. No, she told herself firmly. No sabotaging a date. Not when they hadn't seen each other for quite some time. Hadn't it been days already? Or longer? She couldn't remember anymore. The days blended together. All she knew was that she was busy with her new job and her projects and, well... time went by too fast.

She cautiously removed a compact and checked her reflection. She had decided to minimize her make-up tonight in the hope that it make her check her tongue at the door, but at this point, it was just wishful thinking. A true battle of wills.

tag: Nate; words: 535

[NATHANIEL ALEXANDER DUNNE]

THIS IS NOT FAIR I AM BEYOND REPAIR CAUSE OF YOU CAN'T FIND MY HEAD SO I'VE FALLEN
INSTEAD OVER YOU BLOOD ON MY SLEEVE I GIVE MORE THAN

Nate had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't put his finger on it, but it felt like his hair was standing on end, and he didn't feel like eating anything. He had his date with Zaria now, and he was even running a bit later than he usually would. He would get there on time, because if he did anything else, he might've driven himself crazy waiting on her. He felt itchy in his suit, uncomfortable almost, but then again that was something usual. He didn't usually dress up when it came to Zaria - he wore what he wanted and he looked good in it and she accepted it - unless it was something fancy, but he felt like he needed to look good to feel good this time around. Because he didn't feel good. His muscles were in knots and he felt a headache blooming behind his eyes, but he ignored all of it because it was the one time she'd asked him out, and he knew he had to do this. Bottino's was a place with good food, good service, good everything, but nothing seemed appetizing at the moment. Not when he'd stressed over this like he knew he shouldn't have, and already had himself all worked up over it. He'd go in there and he'd pretend, they'd both pretend like everything was fine, like their relationship that had lasted two years wasn't falling to pieces - yeah. He was a good actor, but he hated every second of it, and wished he could take them back to the times when everything had been sweet and genuine and perfect. But that didn't last. The honeymoon phase of their relationship was long over.

Walking into the restaurant was simple, as was being lead over to the table once he said he was under the name 'Thompson'. Zaria looked beautiful as ever, but what ruined the image was the fact that she was checking her make-up. As usual. He was surprised that she was here before he was, but then again, this might be her trying to make an effort. He didn't know what to do, really. "Ari," he murmured in greeting, sitting down softly. "You look lovely." The compliment was dropped easily, because she did. He didn't say anything else as he browsed over the menu unnecessarily. He already knew what he was going to order. Nate loved Italian food to bits - maybe this was why she'd chosen Bottino's. Or maybe it was because it'd been the first place she could think of. He followed her thought process most of the time, but at some moments, she slipped through his fingers like he was trying to cup water in his hands. He wouldn't be dramatic, however. He was trying to down play everything, really, keep everything in his mind and not out of his lips because he didn't want to fight, that was the last thing he wanted to do really, but every time they were in the same space they either treated each other like crap or argued or - no. That wouldn't be tonight. He'd stop, and he'd behave, and they'd manage to have a civil dinner. "How was your day?"

T A G G E D ? ! ari <3
W O R D C O U N T ? ! five sixty two
M U S E ? ! nate is everywhere omg
N O T E S ? ! i hope this was good enough! really can't wait for this x3
C R E D I T ? ! graphic credit goes to v-va-vanessa of caution two point oh. lyric credit goes to neon hitch with her amazing song poisoned with love.

[ajane]

He was here now. It was as if all of the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. Zaria closed her compact with a quick snap and slipped it back into her purse. She knew from her quick breaths that he had caught her off-guard. She had wanted to be ready to see him and he had come up and surprised her. Not only that, but he was in a suit. She glanced him up and down and managed a shaky smile. As he complimented her, so she returned it. "You look dashing yourself," she said, her voice a little high-pitched. She swallowed hard and returned her hands down to her lap, free to fidget with the linen napkin. She was trying to remain calm, but she probably looked like she was trying not to run away and that was never her intention. She wanted this. She wanted to prove they could sit down at a nice restaurant and actually eat and converse and act like two grown people.

"I thought you might like this place." She glanced around the cozy restaurant, filled with fond memories of all of her father's business parties here. But the last thing she wanted to bring up was her father, of all people. Mentioning him would only bring on the fight. She would say something, he would comment, she would start yelling because that was what she knew how to do best, he would get affronted and she would leave. She could count on all fingers and toes the number of times that had happened in a perfect argument sequence. It was the five moves of doom to end any evening. But not for tonight. She wasn't expecting perfection, but she needed something aside from the norm. Things between them weren't great. She knew that. He knew that. Somewhere along the way, things stopped being perfect.

Maybe perfect was too much to ask for. Could she ask for adequate? Squelching a wince, Zaria realized she had just thought of her relationship with Nate as adequate. So damned shameful.

Her eyes dropped to his water glass as her gaze dropped to the white plate in the middle of her setting. It was awaiting antipasto salad or bruschetta or some sort of fancy appetizer. She would let him decide. This was yet another decision she was resolute on.

When he asked her about her day, her mind drifted back. She'd woken up early, showered, gone to work, made enough coffee beverages to qualify her with the title 'coffee matron' and had gone home to prepare for dinner. There was nothing exciting there, except for one minute exception. She chose to speak that. "I didn't spill on myself today," she said softly. "I didn't spill on anyone else, either."

She wasn't the best employee to have around. After all, she had never needed a job before. She had just managed to snag this one because she wanted to prove to herself that she would be great at it. She could be great at anything she set her mind to, right? Wrong, evidently. She had caused enough small catastrophes to be labeled a calamity and her only saving grace was the fact she could smile under pressure and she had yet to curse out a customer for their stupidity.

"I hear they have great manicotti here," she offered instead. She wished the waiter would come back and fill her glass. She was parched and it wasn't from the conversation. After a moment, she added, "Did you have a good day?"

tag: Nate; words: 592

[NATHANIEL ALEXANDER DUNNE]

THIS IS NOT FAIR I AM BEYOND REPAIR CAUSE OF YOU CAN'T FIND MY HEAD SO I'VE FALLEN
INSTEAD OVER YOU BLOOD ON MY SLEEVE I GIVE MORE THAN

At the returned compliment, Nate quirked a half smile. He wondered if she actually thought that, or it was her manners that forced her to return it. Maybe it was just instinct now, to appear like a good couple. That was a sad thought, but what about them now wasn't a sad thought? Memories were something different, something on a totally different playing field that he didn't think about, or at least tried not to think about, when he was right there with her. It was sort of like an insult, and the one that Nate wasn't was insulting. What was insulting was that she literally looked like she wanted to get up and run away from the table. He had nerves too, and he was just as anxious as she was, but at least he didn't show it. Maybe the fidgeting of his leg under the table, and the slight twitching of his fingers that fiddled with the condensation on his glass of water before he took a sip from it, gave away his nerves, but that was it.

He nodded when she said that he might like this place. At least she thought of what he liked because she'd chosen a place, which was a rare occurrence. Usually, things centered around Zaria. Nate wasn't one to complain, and he usually went out of his way to make sure that he did what she wanted, or did things to make her smile or laugh, but sometimes it was nice when a little bit of that came back his way. He wasn't used to it, either, but he hid a surprised smile. He couldn't let himself be so easily won over. Just because he was head over heels for her, that didn't mean that he could allow himself to get sucked into being happy for a moment because of a well placed nice thought. This wouldn't end well, he could feel it in the pit of his stomach, and he wasn't going to be crushed when it went to hell. But he wouldn't jinx it, either. Instead, he raised an eyebrow. "I might try it. I haven't had manicotti in a long time. Though I might go with lasagna," he said with a small shrug. Food talk was easy. He loved food, as most teenage boys did, and so it was something that would flow seamlessly.

When she spoke of her accomplishment, Nate couldn't help it. "I'm proud of you, Ari. I told you could do it. You just had to get the hang of things." He said, and let a slightly withdrawn smile appear. He didn't want to get too comfortable, but he really was proud of her. She could do anything she put her mind to, as he'd told her dozens of times before, and maybe she was finally seeing that for herself. "My day was alright. Quiet, boring, the usual." His day, in fact, hadn't been anything special. Training in the morning, some down time, and then here he was. He liked it when days were simple like this. Then again, the thought of this afternoon had been in his mind all day, and as the time had gotten closer and closer he'd gotten more and more nervous. That hadn't been the best thing he could've done with his day, but that didn't mean anything. At least he hadn't had to do anything official.

T A G G E D ? ! ari <3
W O R D C O U N T ? ! five ninety
M U S E ? ! could be better, sigh
N O T E S ? ! they're both way too nervous omg, which of course sends things downhill
C R E D I T ? ! graphic credit goes to v-va-vanessa of caution two point oh. lyric credit goes to neon hitch with her amazing song poisoned with love.

[ajane]

Zaria couldn't help but feel the faint blush on her cheeks from his praise. He complimented her often, but there were times when his words just went in one ear and right out the other. Her professor called it 'selective hearing' which was an obnoxious trait she had picked up from her own mother. Her mother had significant selective hearing, because everything her father said went in one ear, went out the other and was contradicted almost immediately. The fact that she was able to retain anything was a small miracle, but Zaria was a decent student and she thought of herself as an okay listener. So, she wasn't perfect. Who was?

She actually was proud of herself. Not in the typical perfect manicure and perfect outfit sense, either. She had managed to hold down a job for days now and she was getting better at it. It wasn't a shoe sale on Rodeo Drive or arguing her case in debate class, but it was something that she was doing for herself. When was the last time she had done this? Never, that's what.

Zaria's eyes dropped down to her menu and her fingers played with the cracked plastic at the corner. "Lasagna sounds delicious," she said. Actually, it all looked delicious. She was hungry. The only thing she'd really picked at that morning had been whatever healthy frittata her mother's cook had made for her. It was one of the benefits of living at home during school break. She would be back on campus and back sharing her sorority house soon enough. She would have roommates again, roommates with their endless questions about her network connections and her hunky, hunky boyfriend. It was something to look forward to come fall, certainly.

The waiter returned, water pitcher in hand and mercifully filled her glass. She gave him a soft smile in gratitude and quickly drank. The cold was soothing on her throat and seemed to give her a bit more courage. Or maybe it was because she was occupied with something other than her own thoughts. "Quiet and boring isn't always so bad," she reasoned aloud, setting her glass down. What she wouldn't give for the days of old, the days of browsing online sales and wasting hours away on social media outlets. Then again, it was for that very reason she had gotten a job in the first place. She wasn't one for wasting time and she wasted so much of it.

The waiter returned with a basket of breadsticks and asked if they were ready with their orders. Zaria glanced over at Nate. "I'm ready when you are," she said. Maybe it was her nerves giving her all of these nice feelings. She was feeling oddly generous and she wasn't entirely sure why.

tag: Nate; words: 472

[NATHANIEL ALEXANDER DUNNE]

THIS IS NOT FAIR I AM BEYOND REPAIR CAUSE OF YOU CAN'T FIND MY HEAD SO I'VE FALLEN
INSTEAD OVER YOU BLOOD ON MY SLEEVE I GIVE MORE THAN

Nate wasn't a talker. He was more of a listener. He was someone that people could come to, if something was wrong. He'd always made that clear. Even if someone wasn't his best friend, if they needed someone, he was there. He'd made that clear to Ari, even if she pretended that she couldn't tell him anything. It was what he was there for, really. He was someone that didn't like telling things about himself if only because they could be used against him. He didn't like to think about everything CIA when he was with Aria, as well, which was another reason he couldn't talk about himself, really. He hated lying to her, and so he didn't lie. He just didn't tell the entire truth. He avoided answering questions, so he didn't have to give answers. The answers he would have to give would be lies. It was all just a vicious cycle, but he couldn't tell her. That would be putting her in danger. Even if dating her put her in danger, he could protect her from the shadows in the dark. He could make sure she was okay. He just didn't want her to have such knowledge. In intelligence work, knowledge was key. Knowing more but you in more danger. Her knowing nothing made her the safest she could be while she was dating him. It was the only reason he didn't tell her anything. He wanted to, he did, but her safety was more important than what he wanted. If only she knew.

"I guess not. It could always be loud and chaotic, so, true." He said simply. He knew that her version of busy days and his version were two different things. Maybe she had a hard day at work, spilled things, had bad customers. Maybe she'd had a little fight with one of her parents. Maybe she had a lot of homework, or one of her professors had annoyed her. Maybe she couldn't buy what she wanted for some reason or another, or she couldn't find the pair of shoes she had wanted in her size. Their problems were very different. He knew that. He'd known that it would be like that when he'd started dating her, really. But that didn't mean it didn't slap him in the face sometimes. When they'd started dating, he'd thought that they were perfect, that they were so similar. It was only in time that he had come to see that they were so different. But opposites attracted, wasn't that the phrase? And they were attracted to each other. They could make things work, if they found a way. That's all they had to do, right? Or was it not that simple? He pulled himself out of his thoughts nodded when the waiter came over, closing his menu. "I'll have the lasagna." He handed his menu to the waiter who immediately took it, and looked to Ari.

T A G G E D ? ! ari <3
W O R D C O U N T ? ! five fifteen
M U S E ? ! on a broom but flying in the wrong direction
N O T E S ? !
C R E D I T ? ! graphic credit goes to v-va-vanessa of caution two point oh. lyric credit goes to neon hitch with her amazing song poisoned with love.